I remember when I had my first son and all I could think when I was waiting for my husband to pull the car around to the entrance of the hospital for us to go home was “Holy crap. We have a baby.” It was such a beautiful feeling but at the same time overwhelming. Being responsible for another life is scary. I mean, if you don’t feed them or take care of them it’s bad. I wanted to share with you guys a couple of things that I did wrong with my first baby in hope that it will help you to avoid making the same mistakes.
No. 1 Not Accepting Help
Help is necessary sometimes. I was so adamant that I had to do EVERYTHING to care for my baby that I was burning myself out. I mean, as a mom you essentially have to do everything, but there are some things you can delegate to your spouse so you can get at least an hour or so of sleep. If you are breastfeeding this is hard to do and requires a lot of determination but if you are able to pump at the same time as breastfeeding so that you can take a nap and have dad feed the baby every other night it is extremely helpful. You can also have dad on diaper duty!
No. 2 Worrying About Milestones
I am not usually a worrier, but when I became a mom it became a little bit of an issue. I was so worried about whether my son was doing things “on time”. I would call my pediatrician for every little thing and I’m pretty sure my mother-in-law wanted to block my number at some point with all the questions I was asking her. I had an app on my phone that alerted me to things that your child is doing at certain stages and my baby wasn’t doing! Then sure enough a week later he was doing it. Don’t drive yourself crazy listening to every little thing that your child is supposably support to be doing. My son didn’t start walking until he was a year and almost 3 months old! Every child learns at their own pace. Don’t worry so much!
No. 3 Relying Too Much On Books
I am an avid reader and during my pregnancy and the first couple of months of my first sons life i used to read a lot of books and articles about parenting. The majority of the books that I read were the exact opposite advice that my father or my mother-in-law would give me AND different from the advice my pediatrician was giving me. I didn’t know who to listen to! It was so overwhelming to try and decide what to do but what I learned is that a mother’s instinct is very strong and you will know what to do and what’s best for your child as you encounter certain situations.
No. 4 Comparing My Baby to Friends’ Babies
I made the mistake of always comparing my sons progress or my sons behavior to my friends or cousins children. I would be having a conversation and they would mention some little thing like “Oh my goodness, did you see my Instagram post? She waved goodbye to me!”. Things like this used to irritate me so much if my son wasn’t doing the same. I would feel bad because I would blame it on the fact that I was working and that I didn’t have the time to teach him to do these things because I wasn’t home with him. It was a lot of guilt and it took me a while to convince myself that I was not to be blamed for the situation that I was in and I was just doing whats best for my child.
No. 5 Under Packing
Usually people have an issue overpacking. I was the opposite I was like we’ll be back soon and ran out of onesies in the beginning. You’d be surprised just how often little ones spit up. Be sure to always pack enough clothes but also enough burp clothes and diapers and wipes. All the essentials. See my post on Diaper Bag Essentials to never be left with too little!
No. 6 Overestimating My Energy
I am a very energetic person, like over energized even, well that was before my kids. After having my children I was exhausted. I just assumed that I would be tired but I would be able to keep up with things, but I realize now that that is not true. Even simple things make me so tired sometimes, like laundry. I live on the second floor and the laundry is on the first floor. Let’s just say that I have a designated laundry day and that’s my exercise for the week. I assumed that I would be able to do it all and I came to realize that I need to cut myself some slack.
No. 7 Not Sleeping When Baby Sleeps
This is by far the number 1 thing I did wrong. I ignored everyone’s advice about sleeping when they sleep. I tried to “take advantage” and get things done when they were asleep and with my lack of sleep was irritated by everything and was so tired. I started to hallucinate when I had my second son and that’s when my husband was like “go to sleep”. It was scary. A messy house is not dangerous but insomnia is so forget about the dishes or the laundry during nap time and take advantage and sleep. Trust me you deserve it!