Love. Romance. It’s wonderful right? However we hear this all the time. “My husband doesn’t love me anymore” or “I wish he would pay more attention to me” or “The romance is gone”. Here are some things to remember to have a lifelong romance where you both are still connected and very much in love.
1. Touch Each Other More
I don’t mean this in a purely sexual way. Intimacy in all forms is important, but sometimes we get into so much of a routine that we forget that giddy feeling of being in love or simple ways to show affection for the other which is very necessary to have a romantic relationship. Something as simple as holding hands, a hand around the shoulders while you are watching tv, a hug while she’s washing the dishes will spark that feeling of love in both of you. It is important that both of you are demonstrating affection. As a woman I think I can say with confidence that it’s easy to feel un-loved when these little every day things are missing and your busy life just turns monotonous.
2. No Phones
I cannot stress enough how much electronics are attributing to a lack of romance in relationships. The infinite scrolling of a social media feed, the constant pinging of thousands of Whatsapp chats and the never ending Netflix binges are getting in the way of conversation and the overall health of relationships. We are taking time away from our partner by focusing our attention constantly to those little bright screens. Try to put the phones down while you are together. You are missing out on great conversation and opportunities to learn more about each other and nurture your ever growing relationship. Watch shows together. Show an interest in what the other is doing or saying. Which brings me to my next point.
4. Take Turns
A selfish attitude is not conducive to a fortifying relationship. You have to give in to each other every once in a while. For example, although my husband and I are extremely similar, he can spend hours just watching trailers for movies. I don’t get the point of watching trailer after trailer just for fun. I’d rather watch an actual movie, but I have to succumb to it at times because it gives us an opportunity to do something together even though he enjoys it way more than I do.
3. Put Your Spouse First
I find that this is a win win situation. If you are both putting each other first, then you will always be respecting each other and making sure that each others needs are met. When you are competing in a relationship, eventually someone is going to lose.
5. Don’t Treat Each Other Like Parents
It is so easy to think that because you are now a mom or a dad we have to act adulty (not a word I know but it’s the one I want to use). That is lame. You have to keep your relationship fun and vibrant! I have never been to fond of a rigid structure as far as relationships go. You have to be spontaneous, prepared to do anything or go anywhere. My goal is to be dating forever and yours should be too!
6. Say No To Routine
Every day the same thing? NO! Don’t let yourself get stuck in a rut. You don’t even have to have a lot of money to be able to change things up! Check out my previous post for 10 Romantic Date Nights on A Budget, for some of them you don’t even have to leave the house! Liven things up every week or month or so. Especially when you have kids it is so easy to get stuck in the same routine.
7. Find Extra Time For Each Other
Yes it’s nice to have scheduled date nights, but try to squeeze in that extra long lunch, or spend an extra hour on the couch just because. Take time out of your day to make the minutes count. There is no such thing as too much love so remember it’s great to say I love you, but a relationship is a constant commitment. Everyday, wake up and re-commit to each other.