Have you ever had an argument with your partner and thought afterwards man I really shouldn’t have said that? It happens to us all to often. It is a natural part of any relationship to argue but there are ways to make our arguments less volatile. Here are some tactics to argue without hurting each other.
No. 1 Stick to the point.
Try not to veer off topic. Address the matter at hand without dragging up old arguments. When you get distracted from the main issue it is easy to start saying unnecessary things that will only cause you to get irate and end on a sour note.
No. 2 Watch Your Words.
Be careful of the language you use with each other. Sometimes in a fit of jealousy or anger you say things that cannot be taken back and it puts a huge strain on your relationship. It is extremely easy to do so this is going to take some training on self-control. Not everything that you think should be said, especially when you are angry. Try to slowly catch your breath and think about what you say before you say it because once it is out of your mouth it is hard to take back.
No. 3 Argue in Person.
Do not try to fight over a text message or over the phone (if you can avoid it), it is easier to be misunderstood or make the mistake of hanging up on each other which is extremely disrespectful. Find the time to have necessary “discussions” (for the sake of making it sound nicer) face to face. You will understand each other better and are able to read each others body language to be sure you are being understood completely.
No. 4 Empathy.
As difficult as it is for some people to do (myself included) ALWAYS try to be empathetic. Imagine yourself in the other person’s situation. As much as you disagree (obviously, you wouldn’t be arguing if you agreed) at least be understanding of the other person’s feelings. It is very easy to disregard or ignore someone else’s point of view when it is not your own, or you find it illogical or idiotic, but at the end of the day everyone’s feelings matter even if they are not shared. Explain yourself thoroughly.
Make yourself understood. Use your words! There are a million different ways to explain and describe something, so take the time to really think about how it makes you feel and why you think so. Remember that as an adult, in any serious relationship, you want to make each other better, elevate each other, not belittle or berate one another.
No. 5 Hash it Out.
Do not leave arguments for later. Couple’s sometimes say “We’ll talk about this later” and it just piles up and accumulates and becomes a big mess. One fight combines with another and before you know it you just hate each other and don’t remember why. Do not leave it for later. Address the specific issue in the moment, it’ll lead to better communication and understanding.
No. 6 Sorry.
Even if you are not the apologizing type, always apologize. Whether you are the guy or the girl (the picture is just for show… lol). Arguments happen to everyone, as horrible as they are, but there will be others. They are inevitable. Sometimes all it takes is saying sorry to make your relationship stronger. It is not a cure-all, but it does show your partner that you care for them and are willing to put it all in the past. Never go to sleep angry. Always tell each other how much you love each other. Life is short and there is no use being angry with each other.